Being in a verbally abusive relationship...

I’ve known him for 3 years and we’ve dated for over 1 year. By the time it was half a year it was going downhill, I saw his behavior change into jealously and then soon it was emotionally and verbally abusive. When we would argue and I would try to leave he said if I left he would threaten to take his own life and I was scared.We haven’t been “together” for the last 3 months in our relationship due to the constant back and forth arguing. Until about a month ago, I told him

I couldn’t continue our relationship because it was beginning to take a toll on my mental health. I said I wanted to part my

own way and find the better version of me and hopefully we can try again in the future. Instead he accused me of never loving him from the start and proceeded to get angrier and calling me foul names over text message. He then kept ringing my

phone until I answered to continue to call me foul names and body shaming me. He’s very aware of the fact that I’ve been sexually assaulted and was very scared of showing my nude body to him and allowing him to be my first and then saying that my “pussy ain’t shit” and I can’t perform oral sex right has affected me so much.That night I was crying loud enough for my mom to hear and she got involved. Now my parents don’t want me anywhere near him because they feel that he might physically harm me. I didn’t talk to him for weeks and I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I met a nice girl and we’ve been on two dates so far and I really enjoy her company and want to continue what we have. As far as my ex boyfriend, he’s been messaging me and telling me how lost he feels and begging me to take him back. He told me he never meant to say anything like that and regrets it and wants to start over. I don’t know if that’s part of his manipulation plan. I’m scared of giving him my trust again and then returning back to his toxic ways. A part of me wants him back but the pain he put me through for months was physically and mentally draining. I don’t know if I miss him or if I’m lonely? Or miss that special connection we had because I can’t find that with anyone else? I’m confused and heartbroken.