Is it terrible to find out gender and not share with hubby?

So from the beginning of finding out I was pregnant which was 4 days before missed AF, my husband has had a difficult time with keeping the pregnancy a secret for just us. I totally get that he's excited, but there were a couple reasons I didnt want to share. #1-his family can't keep secrets and I wanted this under wraps until 12 weeks when I told work which I addressed early on. He guilted me into telling his mom who couldn't contain herself and told his cousin (luckily on smaller side in TX), so I've had to address it with her. #2- my mom was sick and I wanted to make sure things were okay before I told her. #3- slightly selfish, but I really wanted to surprise everyone at once and honestly be a part of the joy. Since he's told everyone himself I've missed out. A small part of me wants to find out the gender alone, even though I didn't want to, just so that I can keep this secret to myself. Is that terrible?