Hang in there y'all, I promise this long ass story has a point!

A little back story for me. I have a beautiful 5 year old boy who I love so much. He blessed me in a time that i was battling so much and even wondering if life was worth it anymore. I found out i was pregnant at 18. Young, scared, and felt like I was alone. My granddaddy is a preacher and my mama was super strict and very protective so I felt like I had nobody. When I finally told them' it was hard for a while but soon after he got here's everything made sense. He was 110% my saving grace and my ride or die!

Fast forward to when my son was 2. I found a man I wanted to be with without a doubt.

However, we barely got a chance to know each other before SURPRISE, you're pregnant! Being pregnant again wasn't the issue at all' by this time I was 22. The issue wasn't i barely knew this guy, even though i wanted to be with him, I barely knew him. We made the decision to stay together and he cried when I told him he was going to be a daddy. Again I was scared to tell my family. I told my mom, she already had a feeling. I decided to call my "sister" and was told I "needed to take care of it" because "$600 and a better life for Deklyn should be worth that". After that's I shut down. It was hard to be happy. I finally came to the conclusion that I didn't give af about what anyone thought and that we were going to be this happy family and everything was perfect. Until it wasnt.... May 14th 2016, I started spotting. No big deal, as I spotted with Deklyn. Thought I'd give it till that night to give it a chance to subside. I did and the bleeding didn't let up. We went to the hospital where they ran tests (I should've been 13w 1d) and brought the UT in. Of course' she couldn't say anything and it felt like an absolute eternity until the doctor came in. When he did, we were told that they could see baby and hear the heartbeat. But the heartbeat was very faint and baby was very small. Fine, baby just isn't that far along, my gestation period had to be off, right? Oh man how I prayed that was true. I was diagnosed with a "threatened miscarriage". Our families knew and my mom turned off her phone (I understand. She owns her own business and opens at the asscrack of dawn) and my boyfriend's egg donor left her phone at home so they could go gamble. So here we were. Alone. Scared. Just the two of us being told our baby isn't going to make it. No symptoms other than light spotting. Anyways, we decided to get a second opinion so we went to the ER in the next town over. Went through the whole process over again. Only this time, no baby. No heartbeat. Just an empty sac. A reminder of what could have been. Our world came crashing down around us.. May 16th 2016, the day our lives forever changed.

I have battled MDD (manic depressive disorder), BD, and severe anxiety for years so I spiraled. Drank all the time. Smoked all the time. Didn't care about anything anymore. Was told all the time by family members to just forget it and move on.

2 years. 2 years of trying. 2 years of tests. 2 years of forcing sex because we just wanted a baby. Negative after negative, heartbreak after heartbreak. We both came to the conclusion that we were done trying. We didn't want to force anything anymore. Forcing it was putting a strain on our relationship. I felt as though I wasn't good enough and so did he. After 2 years of trying, we came to the "if it happens, it happens" mindset. The very next month, we got pregnant.

Our miracle girl, Odyssey Skie will be joining our family May 23rd (or hopefully sooner). We are now 32w 5d. 👣💝🤰

Don't give up hope. Hang in there.