Getting back to job

Ugh this life i hate it. I want to cry my heart out. I want to go out and get a job. No i cant because im a mom and im DEFAULT A CARETAKER OF MY BABY. pls dont get me wrong. I love love my daughter. But since im starting out my search for jobs it takes extra time to prepare(worked in my home country- trying to get a job in regulatory affairs/ quality assurance in Bay area). No but Dad is too busy to help me with the baby. His reasoning he has to work to earn money. Mind you guys he is well experienced and in a high position. But mommy cannot wish to prove herself (i have my masters in Pharmaceutics). I really really hate myself and my life.