It just gets so hard sometimes

So we have been trying for 2years and three months. I have a child from previous relationship so does my partner. Both of us conceived first try.

I find it so hard and confusing. I didn't think I could trust as nother man to have a child with as the other father has no contact with my child and my current partner has taken him on as his own and my son calls him dad.

But I finally trusted to have another and every month is another month gone.

This month though I was 2 days late and I got my Hope's up so bad as it always been like clock work. Then suddenly AF turned up. I feel stupid for getting worked up but its always heart breaking but this time I feel in a lost with grief. Plus just finding it hard to stay hopeful.

Wishing everyone the best in the future whether they are lucky to have conceived or still trying.