I think I’m a sex addict.

I’m going to start by saying I’m 19 and have slept with around 30 men in a time frame of about 2 years. I saw my boyfriend as my “savior” from becoming a free slut, since I slept with men I found on dating apps thinking they would eventually love me too, which wasn’t the case. My ex and I had sex every weekend and some days when I could visit him, since we both worked during week days. I would ask for more and more and he said he was tired, or he couldn’t get hard anymore, which made me extremely mad and concerned. If he couldn’t make it one on weekend, I would get extremely sad, cry, get an anxiety attack, etc. The next morning I felt like I just exaggerated but was still mad because he didn’t come and have sex with me. We recently broke up and immediately after I started using dating apps again. Last night a guy I was supposed to meet with left me hanging and I started crying, deleted all my social media, had suicidal thoughts... eventually I just took some sleep aid and fell asleep. This morning I downloaded all the apps again with hopes maybe I will meet someone to have sex with. Today I came across an information picture from a medicine page on Facebook explaining Hypersexuality, the symptoms and consequences.

I felt identified because sometimes I feel depressed just because I don’t have sex. Doesn’t even matter if I have a love relationship with someone, it’s the sex. Bipolar too in that aspect from one solo night to the other. As I was reading one article suggested sometimes this developed because the person didn’t experience maternal or fraternal love. I didn’t experience my dad’s love and even to this day I feel resentment towards him for not loving me enough to respect myself or learn what men love felt like since I grew up with 4 sisters only. Although that’s not an excuse for my behavior I feel like it definitely influenced it. I try to keep myself isolated from social media and people when I’m having nights like these just so I don’t do something stupid. But has anyone ever been through the same or been diagnosed?

Thank you.