Question for all parents that have mixed race kids

***Update at bottom of post***

My daughter is half native (from me) and half white (from her father). She is a beautiful little girl and is loved by so many people. In most native cultures there are mile stones that are to be celebrated like a baby's first laugh. For my little one her aunt and uncle bought her new jewelry and a new dress with moccasins to wear for this celebration. When I mentioned this to my MIL she seemed to love everything and commented on how beautiful her new things looked. Later on after the party my husband told me that my MIL was upset over baby not wearing anything that she got for baby when in reality that's not the case. All the dresses and new shoes and clothes my MIL bought she wears along with the other clothes that people have brought to her as gifts. It's just that in this case a traditional native dress was important for baby to wear.

Then to make things worse she started getting offended when my family had said a prayer in our native language even though we asked if they would like to say their own blessing in English too. Afterwards on my husbands phone I saw texts from my MIL that called everything we done bull****. To me that really hurts because my daughter isnt just native she's also white and that means respecting what they want to do for her in their own religion which I have respected thus far.

My husband says he will talk to his mother but I can't see myself even allowing my daughter to go visit them if that is how my MIL truly feels about myself and my family. My husbad wants to put this behind us but I don't really know what to do. Please keep in mind that my MIL doesn't have a close relationship with any of her other grandkids because she has made her other kids and in-laws uncomfortable. Some of her other grandkids call her "mean grandma" and they are scared of her.

My main question for mixed race families is have you ever gone through something like this in your own personal lives with your kids? How did you hand it? Do you still talk to them or let your children spend time with them?

*** So after giving it some time for everybody to calm down I took my daughter to visit my MIL. She was polite and got the chance to play with her and even put her down for a nap as well. I think it'll take time for these wounds to heal. I would like for my MIL to have a good relationship with her grandkids but I hope she understands that she is the grandparent not the parent. I will say that this has put a pretty slight strain on our marriage as well. He keeps telling me to move on from it but I just can't right now. Doesn't help the fact that my older brother keeps comparing my daughter to his grandson or my older sister either (she passed a little over a year ago).

Maybe just giving everybody a break for awhile will help... I just wish family wasn't so complicated. 😑