Dear planned parenthood EDIT

Look, I already know this post is gonna get a lot of hate but I really don’t fucking care at this point. I was lied to, coerced, pushed towards termination, and I feel completely robbed of a fair chance at motherhood. I learned I was pregnant at 5 weeks. I am only 20 years old so it was a mix of “oh shit” and “oh my god I’m so happy” all at once. I came to planned parenthood at 8 weeks exactly for an ultrasound and was immediately alarmed I was being lied to. I am a researcher by nature and like to research things before I do them to know what I’m getting into. So naturally I researched fetal development at 8 weeks. I knew baby had arms and legs and hands and feet and a steady heartbeat by this point. However during my ultrasound I was told I was too early along for a regular over the belly ultrasound (lie I knew this was common for the first 8 week scan) I was told my baby was no bigger than a piece of pencil lead (lie again) I was also told I wouldn’t be able to see much because “it’s really just a blob of cells rn” (lie again) I watched the tech zoom out instead of in and tell me “it’s almost impossible to see because it’s so small” it was and intravaginal ultrasound using a wand probe but was pointed to my bladder to make my pregnancy seem smaller. Once I was 9 weeks one day I was scheduled for an abortion. I was told if at any point I felt uncomfortable I could leave. Though I knew at this point my baby had digits and a beating heart I was told over and over about how “it’s just uterine matter” “just a clump of cells” “not even alive” and with each dehumanizing phrase I become more and more subdued to what was about to happen to me. I felt absolutely helpless. When it came time for my “procedure” the doctor was rude, pushy, sedated me before asking I was sure I wanted to do this, performed my abortion without allowing numbing to kick in, continued my abortion AFTER I had said I change my mind, and tried to do the abortion without my partner in the room as I specifically had requested. She attempted to make lightheaded jokes and conversation and had music playing like it was nothing more serious than getting teeth cleaned. The worst moment of my life and she’s humming along with a song. I knew in my heart they were wrong, but I felt so lost and helpless. They’re professionals right? I’m just some dumb girl who got pregnant. I can trust them, they do this everyday, they’re helping women, they wouldn’t lie to me. Right? Now, I am not so sure. I was completely taken advantage of in my darkest hour.

Edit: to the commenter mentioning I am not a doctor: yes you are right I am not a doctor, but I did however compare my ultrasound to the ultrasounds of 2 of my friend’s ultrasounds at 8 weeks along exact same as me and their ultrasounds were clear, focused, zoomed in on the actual pregnancy rather than bladder and one was over the belly, one transvaginal, that’s how I knew it was a lie that it was “impossible” to do a less invasive ultrasound.