I feel bad ..

I went off on my fiancé today.

Over nudes.

Sounds crazy right? He hasn’t asked for nudes in almost two years..

And today he did. And I wasnt comfortable. I’ve gained 15 pounds in those two years. My ex use to force nudes other wise he’d post them if I didn’t do it . ( black mail mostly ) and since I haven’t been confident I got back that feeling today when my fiancé asked me for nudes. This overwhelming feeling and I went off. I sent one and was like no no this is not who I am and just went off . And he apologized he knows I don’t send nudes but WHY THE FUCK DID I GAIN WEIGHT. I loved my body so much now I just cry . I’ve been trying to loose weight. I lost 6 pounds but ofc my new birth control caused me to gain it right back.

I’m just so down on myself and I let it out on him today 😞