Being ontop

So, my bf an I have been together for a little over 4years now. I'm not a very confident girl... Being ontop was always difficult for me. I over think it. Recently I've gotten a little more comfortable with the idea, we've given it a go a few times, but each time is usually hit or miss. Sometimes he cums right away and I get nothing out of it. Other times he seems bored or he'll kinda stop me and do his own thing with me still on top? I feel like I'm not doing a very good job. Practice makes perfect, but I don't know if I should keep doing it. The idea of me being on top is to give him a break and just enjoy the show. If he's stoping me to do his own thing then I'm not doing my job and he's still doing all the work.... Idk. I feel bad. Bad about myself, bad for him, bad in general.