So recently, I've come out to my mother about her toxicity.. things like every time I turn my back she's telling people what a terrible person I am, she relies on other people to take care of her despite her being perfectly capable. She's bipolar (she's never been honest with therapists about her mental health, and things she feels, she's a hypochondriac and I believe she's actually narcissistic,) and has even gone to the extent to excuse the fact that she had me take pictures and videos of her masturbating at age 13/14 with "I was manic." She now denies it.. so I've completely dropped contact with her, my sister and brother because they live with her and will back her to their cores despite also being abused and manipulated their entire lives. Does things like threaten "I'm just going to disappear.." when she's called out on things she's done.

Anyways, I've dropped her. And now to my in-laws.. my husband has never been very close with them, he had his own issues with them growing up, however they are good, hard-working, Christian people. They too are incredibly manipulative, but they do it to try to help us achieve things, if that makes sense. Anyways, we lost contact with them for a while as usual, because my husband is a very secretive, private person and he's tired of their manipulation tactics. His dad's great grandmother died a couple of days ago, so they'll be coming down this Friday for her funeral. They're taking my husband, no complaints about this.. however. I'm pregnant with their first grandchild and I'd like to get closer with them for her sake, considering she has NO maternal grandparents at this point. I'm not so sure how to go about this because they've always been skeptical of me, how I grew up, my own family. I've never discussed my family issues with them because I didn't want them to think of me as a bad person?? Or for them to judge me anymore than they already have I guess? I just didn't feel it necessary. But they'll be coming down Friday, spending the night and return home on Saturday.. all I ask is for maybe a lunch date before they go so that I can explain these things to them. My husbands relationship with them makes it difficult. They haven't at all seemed interested in my baby girl. I have invited them to come down when she's born but haven't heard anything regarding it.

I feel like a bad mom already. My girl will have no grandparents at this rate, I'm afraid she'll resent me for that. I've told my husband multiple times through the years to keep up with his parents because they're decent people, they want to help, not tear us down.. they live 8 hours away so it isn't like we'd be seeing them constantly, could rely on them for childcare or anything. I just think it'd be sweet to be able to face time them with her, spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with them.. sigh. Just letting the dice roll..