Yesterday I had my second d&c, but not as aggressive as the first. I don’t know but I’m more in shock than sadden. I went in for a checkup at 14.5 weeks and the nurse was unable to find a heartbeat. My heart broke but wasn’t able to cry. Just the tears fell. I have three healthy kids and never experienced a miscarriage until June 2017 and this year. Sometimes I feel so defeated but something inside keep telling me not to give up. I was afraid that because we announced on social media that it would be hard to explain but it hasn’t been. Everyone has been so supportive and telling me their struggle and how they didn’t give up even after three miscarriages. So my follow up is a week from today and I will meet with my doctor and a specialist. I’m not going to give up! I will have a healthy full term baby. That’s all I can keep telling myself. I just need to be strong - I’m going to get through this.