My body loves making me feel like I’m pregnant then when I get tests to take it and Aunt Flow comes barging in to scream at my vagina, ‘surprise! You’re not pregnant you sucker!’ before punching me in the uterus with a sledgehammer! 😭 Fuck my emotions and fuck my body for playing these tricks on me! I hate not knowing why my periods aren’t set in stone! Dumb doctor didn’t tell me anything other than I’m fine before shoving birth control down my throat! 🤬😭😡🤬 There is not an emoji for all the emotions I’m feeling at once. God I can’t talk to my mom about it because she’ll just look sad and say ‘oh...’ My best friend (practically sister) moved back and she’s going on 12 weeks and my mom rubbed her belly and said, “my first grand baby! I’m so excited!” RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER WHO’S TRYING TO GET PREGNANT! Sorry I’m not a fertile myrtle like my other friends! 😭 I’m stressed out from a dumbass guy at work complaining I’m in the bathroom all the time. WELL EXCUSE ME FOR BLEEDING OUT OF MY VAGINA AFTER MY PERIOD WAS GONE FOR SEVERAL MONTHS! If he says anything again I’m going directly to my boss and telling him what’s up and it makes me feel awful that I can’t control my body and I have to hear a coworker complain about it! I’m so sorry girls I’m just so emotional right now and him being an inevitable douchebag is not helping. My mom asking, “when am I gonna have a grand baby?” And cramps that feel like someone is slamming my uterus into a concrete wall is not helping. I was given an ultrasound to look for cysts on my ovaries but no other tests were done. I could have PCOS or Endometriosis because it runs in my family. Mom had mild PCOS, grandma and great grandma on mom’s side had endometriosis. I’m not sure about my dad’s side...I just want answers. It’s kinda scary when the person doing your ultrasound says, “I can’t seem to find one of your ovaries.” I’m terrified I won’t be able to have kids. My fiancé is lying in bed and I’m in the bathroom crying as I type this. I’m going to set up an appointment on Wednesday with a different doctor to figure out my emotions and hopefully some answers about my abnormal periods. I just wanna be able to give my fiancé the family he deserves. This man has been my rock and support for almost two years and I love him so much. If it weren’t for him I probably wouldn’t be here today. I have been off my antidepressants and other medications for over 2 years and I feel so much better. It’s just so much harder to not need them when my mother is being pushed about wanting grandkids. I just don’t know what to do anymore 😭