there’s this guy who’s in my friend group who’s like three years older than me. whenever i go to parties i always end up hanging out with him and he flirts with me a lot. when my friends noticed it they all got mad at him because they thought he was trying to take advantage of me because i was drunk. at the most recent party i went to we ended up alone after everyone else was asleep. i made out with him a lot and gave him a blowjob and he fingered me and ate me out. im a virgin and i almost had sex with him too. he was really nice and good about checking in with me during the whole thing to make sure i was ok but i still feel kinda gross about it and i don’t know how to hang out with him anymore because it feels weird now. i told like three of my super close friends and they kinda judged me and made fun of me for what i did with him which made me feel really bad about myself. im worried that he’ll tell someone or that one of my friends will tell someone. i really dont want anyone to know. it’s probably not a big deal but ive never gone that far with someone before so it’s kinda a big deal to me.