Me & my husband are going on 3 years and about a year ago we hit a rough patch in our relationship where it was pure hate and picking fights every single day. It’s as if we both couldn’t stand each other, the feeling was mutual.

Yet we live together and have our 2 kids. I want to say we were that way for about a month, there was literally no love, no sex, barely communication. Come to find out my husband started looking attention elsewhere. I found out he’d make calls to a girl he works with at the refineries & text her. That went on two weeks before I found out.

At the end of all that he basically realized her was wrong and told me how he should have been looking for ways to fix us instead if seeking attention buuuut yes I forgave him and I’ve always told him “karmas a bitch” I constantly would remind him and that was me meaning it in a “I will cheat back” way but I never did, I didn’t have it in me to become the person that hurt me. Mind you he DID complexity change from his communication, attention, everything ... he was suddenly the perfect husband I needed him to be.

And here I stayed to try to forgive him & forget but maybe after all his karma was me falling out of love with him.... I’ve tried so so hard to forgive this man & I literally can’t!! I try so hard to let him show me love & how sweet he can he but I hate it, I hate him..... he hurt me and I thought we could move past it but i can’t and what sucks is that I WANT to be able to love him like I used to. I WANT to continue to grow my family with him. I WANT him to be the one I die old with .... but my heart doesn’t want it like i do. I feel like everyday I’m distancing myself more and more and i want to make things work but I really don’t know how...

I’m at such a really confused point in my life right now where I don’t know if it’s best to leave or to really try to love him again? Like does he even deserve me ???