Fcuk my uterus!!!!

So we lost our baby at 10 weeks on 19th September 2018, heart breaking. I began to bleed, went to a&e who referred me to gynae for blood tests an internal examination and scans both abdominal and vaginal.

The vaginal scan showed multiple echo in my uterus, they then said they believed the baby was developing on my left Fallopian tube and I couldn’t go home as I had to have an operation that night to remove both the baby and my tube. The absolute shock to hear this was beyond my ability to word it.

I had the surgery, to be woken up and told “we haven’t removed anything, we can’t find your baby, but your tubes are both still there”...

I went back 2 days later for more bloods and a scan again to show we’d had a missed miscarriage “do you want to take this tablet or wait until things happen naturally?” - “wait of course!!.”

So, we go home devastated....

Fast forward 6 months later 16th April 2019 I take a test and there is a VFL omg our rainbow!!! I am so happy I could burst...

April 17th I take a digital which says 1-2 weeks, I have had symptoms etc so surely it’s all ok right?... nope... April 19th I wake up, bleeding... “here we go again ffs...” I take a test, it’s lighter than ever and basically negative. Bleeding gets heavier, I contact the hospital tell them to forget my booking appointment because I’ve lost the baby... again... TWICE in 6 months. I mean come on ffs!! Seriously? Wtf is wrong with me?. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs, I am not over or under weight, I haven’t eaten anything I shouldn’t... so why in God’s name is this cruelty happening?????

My last successful pregnancy was 2 years ago I am thankful for my baby girl who is 2 next week, that ended it a c section... could that be the reason???? I am angry, I am hurting I am frustrated you name it!!! 😭😭😭