When I found out he was on dating sites texting apps constantly changing his email password just founding out SOOOOOOOOO much crap that just pinpointed to HEY!!!!!!!!!!! I’m cheating on you surprise you never knew it!

But he DENIED it all

Text apps showed his number being reassigned Instant denial he said what what in the world have never seen that before!

A paypal account in his name with his email which was verified.... signed up for under a cell number I NEVER had seen before

Dating apps with his pics on them

Once I found out, called him out on it he changed

He told me he felt like I was calling him a liar

He told me he does not cheat

Things about me that never bothered him before BOOM he was instantly irritated all the time

Always saying I was never wrong, he was. He never mattered etc not true I gave my everything to make sure he did not feel that way but it never mattered.

Said he could never win with me during a stupid ass fight

Petty fights would come up over the dumbest shit he always blamed me for starting them...I never did

Tried to talk to him about it twice BOOM ANGER said it was too much to stress and I talk about it ALL the time

Said if we argue just once a week, it’s too much on him because it feels like it’s ALL the time

Every time I would try to talk to him or even when I brought this up to him it was always instant anger.

Constantly bringing up divorce in an argument

Suddenly he’s unhappy and miserable in our marriage and he said it’s because of me

I mean everything has been mentally wearing me down and I feel like I’m losing my mind

Anyways he staying with his dad for a little bit so I wrote him a letter:

So Listen..

The last 5 months you have been asking for a divorce, You have completely changed as a person. I feel what is to be mind games of some sort. YOU have asked for a divorce over and over and over and over. While I begged and pleaded with you, ITS NOT what I wanted.

However, Your behavior has showed me you want to be free and have no commitments.

If that is what YOU want, Well here are the papers you need to fill out and take over to the court house.

I can no longer decipher what you truly want when you are always divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, lets work things out divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, I love you, Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, Lets work it out, divorce, divorce, divorce.

I never once asked for one, But you have plenty of times.

This is not on me, it’s on you.

I never wanted this and I am sorry for ALL the things I have done. I have given and tried with everything I have to make this work. But no matter how I tried a petty fight started.

Truthfully, I think you were panicked, ridden with guilt that you turned to anger because I learned so much about you that I did not know and you blamed me and yourself for everything from you being irrational, to saying things I normally do suddenly piss you off, too saying I make you unhappy. You saying you and your feelings did not matter….I tried to make a point that they did…’

You know you did something wrong - Thats why you didn’t want me to check those message on Badoo, Thats why you denied knowing Becca, Thats why you denied making those accounts, You claimed you did not know about your gmails…despite emails showing you changed your passwords on both gmails several times last year, the text apps were created because you knew I could see text logs on my Verizon account…your number was reassigned and account created on that 1 email, These things do not hap[pen by themselves, I even logged into your text apps sure as shit like Badoo, FirstMet, Tinder and hot or not you made the account…. ‘

If you are not taking into account what I am saying above does pinpoint to that you tried, have or had intent to cheat… if you really do not see that...Than I need to see a psychologist ASAP….

If you don’t cheat than why is everything screaming it? Why?

You could not just admit anything and let the stress of me finding out eat away you. I wanted the truth, everything I am stating is logical. Your IDK, IDK how those got made, I forgot, IDK who she is despite full knowing who she was, is all illogical and unacceptable answers. You said I don’t have the right to answers…I have every right to answers Thats not how it works. Nor was I ever trying to shift the blame of anything you thought I did wrong unto you.

If I had your truth in this first place we would not be in this mess. We would not be in this place that you and I are in now. Do you not see that at all?

Maybe, Someday I will get the truth. Other than IDK and I did not do that or Whats that site I did not make that! But I highly doubt it....

I was NEVER unhappy in our marriage, I loved you, more then you will ever come to know or realize.

Since you have been gone, I have cried, I barely sleep, I am non stop worried about you.

Al I ever wanted was your love and to show me affection.

So, The ball is in your court now.

You decide now, what it is YOU want. It's not about me, Its NOT what I want, You can try and spin this on me and I have told you it is not what I want. Never was. I never wanted a divorce.

… but this is what I truly feel in my heart its what you want. I should have handed you these papers the 3rd time you asked for one, to put you out of your misery, your unhappiness and give you what it was YOU have wanted ALL this time, You just couldn’t say it…I suppose

I love you so much and I am sad Know I will miss us very, very much.