Hello everyone. I am posting here tonight with a heavy heart.

About 3 weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant! I was overjoyed. This has been a long journey, and I was so glad to finally get my bfp.

I went in for my first ob visit. I got my dr. pregnancy confirmation, a protein test, and a projected due date based on my period. It truly felt like the best day of my life.

The doctor had my ultrasound scheduled for the next day. My husband met me at the hospital, and we went in to see our baby for the first time.

I could tell immediately something was wrong. The ultrasound tech was very quiet, and although they can't really tell you anything, usually there's just chitchat back and forth.

My doctor was not in that day so they had to call him from his other office after the ultrasound was done. He wanted to speak with me immediately on the phone. He told me that my gestational sac was only measuring 5 weeks and 1 day, and there was no fetal pole or yolk sac. I would have been 8 wks at the time. He said there was a possibility that I could be off with my dates, but in my heart, in that moment, my dreams were totally shattered.

I thank God that my husband was with me. I'm not sure how I would have gotten by if he weren't there to literally catch me as I almost fell in complete despair.

Fast forward through the weekend... I had blood work on Monday. My HCG levels were showing 1700 ish, what you would typically see at 5 weeks. This gave me some hope, thinking that I had maybe had a second ovulation. I had them retested today, and they made it just past 2000. HCG levels need to double in 48 hrs. I knew when I got the results, that this pregnancy would not develop. I know miracles can and do happen, but this what I was told from the doctor at my first visit.

I have been doing some research and talking to medical professionals, and they say this is called a blighted ovum. I have never heard of this until recently. It is a form of a miscarriage.

I have to go in on Monday to repeat the ultrasound to be certain, but I know in my heart that it is over.

I trust God's plan for my life. I do not need to know why it happened. His plans are better for me than whatever I could imagine. However, the pain is so real. Even though my baby did not develop, he or she was still my baby. I pray my child is in the loving arms of Jesus. I have faith that we will meet again some day.

I pray for all of you now on this TTC journey. Remember, in your darkest hour, while you wait, never turn from God. He will hold you in the palm of His hand and get you through this.

He promises to make beauty from ashes. He will give us back twice what we have lost.

God bless each and every one of you. Keep looking up! ❤