I hate everything about my life. I’m so depressed and helpless. I’m 15. All my family is always so busy so nobody has time for me. I’ve asked to go to the doctor for my mental health but my mom basically invalidated all my reasons to be depressed. It’s not like she’d have time to take me to get help because she’s always worried about my 5 other siblings and college. My dad is always running the streets, doing and selling drugs. My boyfriend straight up told me my reasons to be depressed ARE INVALID. He’s always calling me dramatic when i talk about how i feel. My grandparents are way too busy although i’ve tried to talk to them. And i’d try to go to a doctor alone but i have no way to pay because i have no insurance and we are too poor to afford it and you have to be at least 16 years of age to visit a doctor without a parent or guardian. I have absolutely no friends at all because i’m homeschooled and my boyfriend is super possessive and controlling. I’ve tried to reach out countless times from strangers and suicide hotlines and chats but nothing helps. I’m just ready to end it at this point. The pain and loneliness i feel are too extreme. I’m so close. I have the plan and everything i need to carry my suicide out. I’m begging for help one. last. time.