Patiently Waiting

I will be receiving my at home sneak peek results today, everyone is telling me i’m having a girl & i really want a girl, but my boyfriend thinks it’s a boy & i feel awful thinking about how sad i’ll be if it’s a boy. don’t get me wrong i’ll be excited no matter what it is, but i’ve just envisioned our lives with a little girl for so long. am i an awful mother for thinking this way?