My fears

My husband and i have been together for 7 years we have a beautiful 5 year old son and we also have a 9 month old baby boy but before i had my little guy i had 3 miscarriages one in july of 2016 another in jan. Of 2017 and in june of 2017 by November on thankgiving day in 2017 i found out i was pregnant again and had my rainbow baby on july 20 2018. In april i found out im pregnant again but i guess the fear of miscarriage never fades. Im terrified of not knowing what the out come will be for this pregnancy. I know that thinking negative isnt good but im preparing myself for the worst. Does this feeling ever go away? I dont like thinking this way. Even when i was pregnant with my youngest i tired not getting attached to feeling of me having him for good and now i feel like im leading down that same road and i just hate the fact that i cant or wont allow myself to be happy. i just needed to vent.