I have spent the last two days sleeping all day and pushing people away. In depressed and usually are when I have nothing to do and have to spend two days alone with my thoughts.

I dont want to be awake, thinking...

I love my friends but were so different, I have 0 reasons to live, I'm numb and dont feel any bond with people.

I have problems having a serious relationship, I never feel happy with what I have, I attract the wrong people and push away the ones who want to be with me.

Nothing fills my emptiness.

And I rather be distracted with work than having to think about shit that's never going to get better.

I might never have kids, husband, long lasting friendships.

I feel mentally disabled