God listens ❤️

April 30th 2019. I was 39 weeks 4 days. My baby girl decides it time to physically be with mommy, daddy and big brother (4 year old). Contractions begin early morning and I’m in active labor by 10 am. Delivery was vaginal and went smooth... or so I thought. I had a drop of Pressure and slight fever when I was delivering nothing major. I was feeling so blessed 💕

I was able to go home two nights after we were all living the moment. Until May 4th at 6:30, I go change my pad due to feeling a warm sensation so I thought no big deal it’s just the normal discharge PP let me change. As soon as I sit in the toilet I gush blood!! My pad was fully covered in bright/dark red and I just kept discharging big blood clogs! I freaked out I had to go the hospital ASAP but I couldn’t move or else more would come out I was scared to bleed to death leaving my husband alone with my children. My husband did what he could to help me stop it bringing pads clothes everything he could think of quickly he made a hospital bag for me while my sister in law called the ambulance. I was rushed to the hospital and all I could think was, I’m dying and I didn’t see my kids one last time I didn’t hold them, I didn’t kiss their cheeks, I’m not gonna see them grow. Expecting the worst but staying hopeful I prayed to god for my health and my children’s asked him to give my husband strength. I arrive and I see doctors coming in and out preparing me for the worst, surgery. I wasn’t understanding anything I had been perfectly fine these past days why was this happening!? Turns out, a little Chung of my placenta was left inside my when I gave to birth. My husband would joke around after I delivered saying they had left me another baby inside my belly because my belly was still puffy. We laughed at it but little did we know..

When getting told about the surgery the doctor was so straight forward, he said he thought doctors left something in there but couldn’t be 100% sure until he was actually in the process risks were, I wouldn’t wake up from the anesthesia or they would do what they could but I could still bleed to death afterwards. I was face to face with my biggest fear but what could I do?.. I had no other choice than to pray and have hope. I go in surgery was supposed to be 15 minutes instead lasted an about 30-45 minutes coming back from anesthesia is like coming back from another world I saw things I would of never thought of while I was asleep then I was hearing the doctor calling my name but i couldn’t wake up, i couldn’t breath I wanted to say I was there with them but it was so hard, once again my kids go though my mind and all I see is their smiles. Finally I begin to catch my breath I get 2 blood transfusions and I’m off to recovery.. so far, everything seems to be going well, doctor came in and said “we got as much as we could out hopefully that was it and this won’t happen again if it does you need to come back” so now I’m thinking, what if this nightmare isn’t over? What if I’m god is just giving me the chance to say goodbye to all? I pray to him he gives me more years to live. I have so much to live and so many reasons to live for, my daughter, my son, my husband my family, my dreams. God has please don’t leave me, I’ll hold your hand tight, just don’t let go of mine. ❤️❤️❤️ Im only 21 and I feel like my life is just beginning, don’t let it end so soon. Please I beg you ❤️