Backstory:my ex bf raped me about 7 months ago. I haven't done anything with any guy since then... I'm struggling trying to deal w what happened. Then my bf comes along and I'm like. Wow.. maybe I can trust this one. Weve been together for going on three months now. At first i was totally freaked out about him touching on me but I've gotten used to him touching my boobs and booty. I actually really enjoy it surprisingly. But I'm still terrified to have sex again. Like I told him.. one part of me wants to because I want to give him every part of me but the side that's trying to protect myself is telling me.. why tf would you let a guy stick something big inside you again and give him the chance to hurt you again. I understand he's frustrated but yall I swear I'm trying my best because i want to please him. I've let him suck on my boobs and I've even sucked his dick.. I couldnt make him cum😔 which I'm guessing is why he just responded "oh" when I offered it😔 kinda shot the little confidence I had built up.. but any advice? The last thing I said to him was "the fact that I just offered to suck your dick and you said "oh" like its nothing makes me not even want to do anything w you honestly. I hope you know how bad that made me feel. I'm sorry my head isnt good enough for you"

He still hasnt texted me at all and that was from midnight last night😔😔😔

He's 21 and I'm 19...

**Thank you to all the ladies sticking up for me and trying to understand my situation... I dont know how else to prove that I'm 19? But I am. I sucked his dick because I'm TRYING to open up again. He's known from the start what happened to me and he told me "one step at a time"... now I just feel kinda pressured and I understand he's frustrated because he's never done anything to hurt me. It just scares me to actually have vaginal sex because I also trusted my ex bf and I was screaming and crying begging him to stop and take it out and he wouldnt until he got finished...that's a really traumatic experience to go through. Especially when it's from someone you thought you could trust and he supposedly loved you.

My boyfriend still hasnt texted me and I think I'm just gonna leave it and see if he ever does and go from there.