Just a rant ig
I feel so trapped 😠I’m only 16. My life is completely over. I’ve made every possible dumb decision despite how smart I was I always knew I was doing the wrong thing and still always ended up going back to it. Dropped out after 9th grade after missing over 100 credits due to absences. Had a boyfriend and started TRYING for a baby at only 15 when he came in me (without consent) and then when I was freaking out about possibly being pregnant he convinced me that a baby would fix everything since we were both going thru issues with family. Then when I got the negative test it broke me since he worked it up soo much. We tried for 6 months. I ended up finally realizing how stupid I was and told him no more. A week later found out I was already 5 weeks pregnant. He got so exited 😠we’ve been together basically 2 years and I know that’s not long but I can’t imagine my life without him 😠he has helped me through so much and he’s the only person I’ve ever opened up to about my very traumatic past and all of my issues and flaws. He’s the only person I’ve ever felt really loved me and he’s the first and only person I have trusted since I was little. I’m now 16 and 17 weeks pregnant. We’re completely broken. We argue all the time. He seems just fed up with me. His whole family is against us being together and they want me and this baby to just disappear. My family is trying to force him to get emancipated (he’s barley 17) and move in with me so he can be in this baby’s life and he wants to do that but his mom has so much control over him despite how horrible she treats himðŸ˜ðŸ˜ I have absolutely no friends. Stopped talking to everyone after I left school. I stay at home 24/7. I don’t think I’ve seen any of my old friends in almost a year. Haven’t talked to another person my age other than him for soo long. My whole life is so unhealthy. I thought at least this baby would give me purpose. And for a while it did. I felt like I finally had a reason to get up in the morning and eat breakfast and go for walks and take care of myself again mentally. But now it’s all downhill. I feel completely broken. I’ve always hated myself but it’s really at its peak now. I don’t even have suicide as an escape anymore because I have a baby in me now. But I can’t bring a baby into this worldðŸ˜ðŸ˜ I cant raise a kid. I can’t do this all by myself. Even if he was here and things were normal. Even if his whole family didn’t want me to disappear. Even if we weren’t falling apart more and more each day. I could never forgive myself if my stress leads to abortion but sometimes I get caught up and think that would probably be best😠everything just hurts so bad. I’m not strong enough for any of this.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.