Should the SO help maintain the house just as much as you do?

Question

My SO works at a customer service place for the newspapers. So he mainly sits at a desk all day and takes phone calls. I’m a stay at home mom who has a 3 year old and currently pregnant. When my SO comes home, he throws clothes in the floor, eats dinner and throws his plate on the table instead of washing it or putting it in the sink, throws every bit of garbage he has in their bedroom floor, and claims that I never clean because he notices the house it dirty after he destroys it. 🤦🏼‍♀️ 
Am I just being selfish or should he help clean?

Answer

There’s a difference between someone doing chores and someone being an adult and picking up after themselves. I’m a SAHM (and work from home occasionally but I make my own schedule) so I keep the house clean. My husband throws his clothes in the hamper, cleans any messes he makes, etc.... the same thing I would expect a child to be able to do. You don’t need to pick up after him like he’s 2 years old.

Answer

I’d say most of the cleaning is on you, BUT, he should not be adding to the mess by being a slob. I expect my three year old to put her clothes in the hamper, trash in the bin, dishes in the sink, but I don’t expect her to scrub toilets. Your husband should be doing at least what we expect of a toddler. He needs to clean up after himself.

Answer

He lives there too 🤦‍♀️

Answer

As a STAHM, I kept everything up - cleaning, laundry, cooking. He did big stuff like yard work and big repairs. That being said, he didn’t come home and make a slob of himself.

Answer

When I was a sahm, I did all the cleaning but absolutely expected him to pick up after himself and made him do his own laundry after he complained once that it took two days to wash one of his shirts.

Answer

The least he can do is clean up after himself, let alone contributing to the rest of the upkeep. My husband and I both work and share the upkeep. I don’t expect his help to lessen when I’m on parental leave.

Answer

I hate cleaning.. My husband cleans 80% of the time i do it 20% 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

My husband works overnights 50 hours a week as a laborer and helps me around the house. I'm also pregnant and have a toddler and my fibromyalgia has been flaring up a lot so I've needed his help more lately. I do mostly everything around the house but he still does help sometimes but not as much as I'd like sometimes

Answer

I do everything. He takes his plate to the kitchen and take the trash out. Yard stuff. But since I’m home, I do everything household wise. It’s something that needs discussed generally before you stay home. You guys are going to have to talk and compromise. 
Work can still be tiring and a stressful whether you sit or stand

Should the SO help maintain the house just as much as you do?

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