In the delivery room for my son everything was going perfect! He inhaled amniotic fluid on his way out and had a collapsed lung. They place him on my chest to clean him up and immediately rushed him over to the table with 5 nurses surrounding him. 8 more nurses rushing in with a machine and nicu specialist.

I never got the relaxing moment to hold him skin to skin. I didn’t get the cute moments as a family for the first time.

I’m blessed he’s made it out perfectly fine after 5 days in nicu. They made sure he was perfect and even put him on a sleeping schedule for us 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I’m secretly scared to have another. I’m scared to have all those terrible emotions again. I cried for days at a time where it’s all suppose to be smiles and love and bonding.