What values do you want to pass on to your child?

Question

Did you consider what values you want to pass on to your kid when you were pregnant? Or before that? Or instead, do you think all they need to learn in life they will learn by themselves without you putting so much effort in it?
We were talking about this with a few friends and it really surprised me that they hadn't given any thought what values they want to pass on. Even before trying to have a baby I loved to think what kind of a parent I would be. I enjoyed planning my kind of parenthood, considering if co-sleeping or baby-led weaning is for us, will we raise our child as a vegetarian like we are, is she going to be baptized, will I stay at home or get back to work soon etc.
I know I'm a thinker but their answers ("Oh, my baby is 1 year old and I haven't thought any of these things") made me feel like I'm a bit extra. 😂 I'm curious to know if their opinions are the average and I just had way too much time to think while TTC, or if somebody else finds it a bit weird that, by their own words, these thoughts haven't even crossed their minds.

Answer

I began thinking about this when I got pregnant with my daughter. 
I wanted to raise her differently than how I was raised. I want her to grow up without fear and anxiety. I want her to be confident and fearless and strong. I know I can’t protect her from heartbreak or pain completely. But I never want to be the source of her heartbreak and pain. I want her to always know she can talk to me, no matter what. I want to be her safe place.
My mantra is and always will be “love her but leave her wild” when it comes to her, because of that. 
I don’t try to tame her spirit. My job is not to make her into the perfect robot child who always behaves and sits still and is never loud or disruptive. 
My job is to make sure she’s respectful and kind and gentle. 
But I also teach her that if rules are unjust, it’s ok to break them. That sometimes you can’t just sit still to make people comfortable at your own expense. That sometimes, you have to be loud and disruptive to make change. 
That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have boundaries or rules, or that she’s allowed to do whatever she wants. She absolutely is expected to listen and behave, and it will always be an ongoing lesson teaching her when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. But  I respect that she’s strong willed and give her appropriate ways to express that. I teach her how to communicate more effectively and how to work through her emotions instead of dismissing them. I don’t do corporal punishment, I don’t put her down, humiliate her, or use scare tactics to get her to listen. There’s no need. It’s easier giving her the tools she needs to succeed than it is to constantly be trying to correct her and setting her up for failure.

Answer

That you treat the janitor with the same respect you would give the CEO. 
To always remember peoples opinions do not alter your value. 
And that it is important to respect lifestyle choices of those around you.

Answer

That if you are in a position to help someone, then do it. 
That every life is precious (except for mosquitoes, ants and flies 😉, but even then I try not to purposely kill them). 
That your self respect and self worth is worth more important than anyone elses, and that you don't have to be a "yes man" for anyone (something I wish my parents told me).

Answer

To treat people with respect and that hard work and determination are more important than trying to be a star on Instagram 🤣

Answer

I hope that my daughter is strong enough to question what she’s taught.
Just because her dad or I might hold certain beliefs, I hope she doesn’t feel trapped by that and can think for herself.

Answer

The one thing my mum taught me that has stuck with me for life is: 
There is always someone in a worse situation than you. 
And my dad would always say:
One life, one chance. (I actually have this tattooed on me) 
I feel like these things have made me who I am because if I ever feel like life’s not fair, I think about what my mum says and be thankful for what I HAVE rather than moan about what I don’t. Whenever I am unsure about taking a risk, or following my head v my heart etc, I think about what my dad says. These are what I will pass down to my child.

Answer

My mom always said "be nice to your classmates because you might end up working for them" It always stuck with me

Answer

I heard someone ask once, “would you rather your child be kind or smart?” I always said, “Why not both?” That’s basically my rule to raising kids.

Answer

My husband and I have very similar values (one of the reasons we work as a couple) that we hope to pass on to our kids.. I say ‘hope’ because I know you can’t force someone to share your values as an adult, but up until then we hope to show by example and also have enough conversation with them to instill as much as we can.. our views around work ethic, appreciation for what you have and your blessings, taking care of your body both physically and in an emotional way (which is both health as well as consideration for not having tons of unemotional sexual partners), acceptance of consequences from their chosen actions, appreciation for life, life skills and how to live within means, faith, and the importance of giving back. Also acceptances of others, and the belief that we are all created equal under God

Answer

My kids will have eye rolling, sarcasm and dry dark humor passed down🤦🏻‍♀️
Hopefully they will also be sweet, kind and compassionate.
But I was a little shit so I'm just aiming for good.

What values do you want to pass on to your child?

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