How to get over a heartbreak

It’s been 2 weeks & it’s been REALLY hard. I feel so much anger and hatred in my heart. We still text which I know is bad but it’s barely. I broke up with him because I felt like he didn’t prioritize me and he put me last meanwhile he was literally the center of my world. He’s my first real everything so it’s been TOUGH. I am his 2nd real relationship & he is my first. I’ve been crying non stop I’ve had a few days off where I. D.o.n.t cry because I was with friends but once I get some time alone .. even if it’s a hour my brain goes wild. Which is something I can’t avoid because I can’t be out 24/7 out of my life. Even at work my mind goes wild & I sometimes tear up because like damn I REALLY Loved this person. It was his friends bday the other day but they celebrated last night and he went to a party and there were girls twerking on trucks & shit and my heart sank but I didn’t cry I just took it as if he’s okay why should I waste my time being sad over him. He’s much happier without me. Meanwhile there are times I feel like I can barely breathe. IT HURTS! This heartbreak is rlly the worse pain I’ve ever experienced in my life thus far. We were together for 1 yr in a half but it feels like way more. I shared my life with this person. For him to turn around and treat me like I mean nothing to him rlly makes me feel like shit. It’s hard like to think I have to open up to a whole new person & eventually have sex with a new person all over again and build up that connection all of those thoughts make me sick cause it wasn’t supposed to go like this. He tells me he needs a break but I told him a break doesn’t fix things it just ignores the problems. Talking abt things right there and then is what fix things. He’s literally playing with my feelings he knows how weak I am for him and he just keeps playing. One day he acts like he cares abt me and the next day he doesn’t. He hates my guts cus I’m not one of those girls to be okay with my man going to strip clubs & all these crazy parties etc. he was waiting for that moment to be free and being able to do all of these things. It HURTSSSS I constantly wish he’d choose me and he’d love me. This feels like it will never get better. I feel sick to my stomach like oh my God. I try to numb myself but it’s like I can’t avoid it. It’s killing me inside. I tlk to my friends etc abt it & sometimes they are able to keep me sane and sometimes it’s like I can’t do this anymore. I feel weak I feel dead I feel like I’ve wasted my time loving someone who never loved me. He told me he’s been holding in a lot of anger towards me cus i bitch abt little things (like him choosing his friends over me or me not being ok with him around girls shaking their ass all day like wtf). All of that anger makes him resent me so now he’s finding every reason to not be with me. It’s not my fault he held his feelings in. If I have a problem I’ll talk to u abt it right there & then but he hates arguing or even discussing things so he holds it in so we don’t argue... which is stupid ur going to argue in life regardless. It just kills me that someone can act and say they are so in love with you one day and then the next day treat you like you mean nothing to them... I feel like I’m literally dying inside I can’t do this anymore I wish I can numb my pain or rip my heart out of my chest. I am so sad & my head hurts all the time. I. D.o.n.t even eat i feel so betrayed and hurt. He made it seem like he wanted a future with me , I was the girl of his dreams to now being much happier without me and finally getting to party and do all the crazy shit he’s been wanting to do the whole time. I am so hurt it’s unbelievable. Everyday it hurts worse but the tears come out less.