Hello everyone.

About a month ago I posted about whether or not I should go to grad school due to my life situations financially.

Long story short I applied to graduate school in 2017 but didn’t get in. September 2018 I decided to try again one last time. In April I got my acceptance and was over the moon at first but as it sinked in I started to feel overwhelmed with all the life changes that came my way 4 months after submitting my application.

Basically my bf and I had to move out (I lived with him while my brother moved back home and occupied my room) we had till May to move out of his moms house cause his younger brother got his girlfriend pregnant and moved her in. (We moved into my moms house this weekend for the time being until my aunts basement apartment is ready. Yes we are tightly cramped)

So I got accepted to grad school after a previous rejection but now I’m going to be paying rent for the first time starting July and would have liked to get a rhythm and system going as we embark on this new life change. I’m terrified of us failing and no we have nowhere to go if it does.

Also I work 9-5 my boss doesn’t seem to like any of her workers she’s new to the director position and since she’s taken over she’s fired 7 teachers and I’ve always feared I’d be next. My course schedule is very ridged and not flexible and have been selected for me. Monday’s are 4:30-7:00 then 7:10-9:40 then Thursdays are 4:30-9. As you can see I have a conflict with my classes and with work. Part time for my program is 3 classes a semester no less. Other programs students get to take as little as one class 3 credits, but mine requires 9🤦🏽‍♀️

I am so scared to ask my boss to leave 45 minutes early twice a week because she seems to already be looking for reasons to fire teachers and replace them. Also losing time at work means less money towards rent and other necessities. 😪😪

And now there’s a chance I could be pregnant and idk what to do if I am. Because my due date would be in February if I am and I can’t leave school mid semester to have my baby and stay home with my baby and still expect to pass. If I had a due date in May that would’ve been better finals would be out of the way and I would have the entire summer to have off from classes with the baby (speaking if I am in fact pregnant) and since I work at a college daycare I could enroll my child once they reach 4months as long as I’m a student.

But there’s just so many factors and I have to make a decision by June first along with a non refundable 250 commitment fee. If the fee was refundable I would’ve paid it and held my spot and depending on my pregnancy test results I would make my decision. But it’s not refundable so once I pay it I lose that money whether I choose to go to grad school or not and if I don’t go that money could’ve been put towards first months rent (it’s 850 a month and we’re splitting it)

I’m just so confused. I spoke to the department about deferring a year and they said I could but I would have to pay an application fee to have it resubmitted for the third time (125.00) and I’m not guaranteed my acceptance😓 I would have to compete again for my spot. I don’t have a great gpa I went through a lot of hardships, death, family emergencies, and my own personal lumpectomy. Took many semesters off for family emergencies and for my own personal health and mental health and graduated with a 2.98. So getting into grad school is huge with this type of gpa. The first time I got rejected was due to it and I believe I got my acceptance this time around because I wrote a supplemental essay explaining the last 6 years. So I’m worried me not taking this opportunity will close to door to grad school for good. But the stakes are so high and stacked against me. I’m just so afraid of making the wrong decision. My program basically dismisses you from the program if you get two grads below a B-. I’m scared of jumping into this before I’m more stable in life, but what if this is my only shot??