I have been reluctant to post this on here for a while, but I need to hear some helpful words and stories from outward sources I guess. Now I am in no way throwing my SO under the bus. He is an amazing man and I couldn’t ask for anyone better, but I feel as though I am having to put my dreams and wants aside for him to be ready. I am 23 and my SO is 25. We have been together for a little over 2 years and we both want to spend the rest of our lives together. I have wanted nothing more than to be a mom. And I don’t mean I just caught the baby bug, no I WANT it. I want the sleepless nights, the little hands and feet, the pooping up the back and in the onesie, the tantrums, and everything else that comes with it. I want that sweet little miracle so I can love him/her with all

My heart, I already do and they don’t exists yet. My SO on the other hand loves the idea of having kids one day, but he’s not quite ready yet. And I understand. We live in a one bedroom duplex owned by his mother, who is a saint among mothers, so we don’t have the space for a LO. SO wants to wait until we have the money to have a house and a better vehicle and he wants to go on a few vacations for all that. And I completely understand, but any extra money he has that we could be saving he spends on more things for his Star Wars diorama, and he’s really good at it and it’s something that makes him happy (he has medical conditions that make it hard for him to keep a job for longer than 6 months) but I can’t help but feel sad everytime I see that money go to something that isn’t our future life. I know it’s selfish, but I’m so damn sad and depressed and I don’t want it to start destroying our relationship. He’s not ready and there are many reasons as to why, I can’t make him ready and I can’t make the money just appear. What can I do to lift this sadness? Any little steps or small accomplishments that might make me feel like I’m moving forward? I just feel hopeless, like I’m never going to get there.

Thank you for making it this far.