Had a checkup today for pain and blood pressure as I’m on meds to keep it under control since delivering. I broke down when he asked how I’m feeling emotionally bc I’m fucking overwhelmed and exhausted. He of course responded by pushing for medication, which I would need to stay on for months once starting. I declined for now bc I’m already on 3 diff BP meds 5x per day.

I know some ppl need meds but I don’t see it helping me get more hours in the day to sleep, or making my husband help more, or making him sleep when someone (MY parents) come by to help out. Rather than sleep while I have help, which I ask him repeatedly to do so I don’t need to then be up w baby all alone so long at night he does things like work out or take the dogs for a walk. It’s fucking infuriating. They come by to make sure one or both of us can sleep to help my recovery and he turns it into a way to avoid his own parenting responsibilities and keep his pre baby lifestyle going.

Literally the second my parents leave he announces he’s going to bed. You can basically set your watch by it at this point bc it’s every time. He steps up when my BP is really high or my meds have me too dizzy to hold the baby but he acts like the second coming for it then uses it as an excuse to leave me hanging the next day as soon as I feel better.

He also doesn’t bother burping the baby so tends to leave me a screaming hot gassy mess of a child. Fuck antidepressants that won’t help this 😬