Please please help me

(I have no idea which group to post this in)

My mother really fucked me up when I was little. I mean she really did. She took my father over me countless times. (My father let some guy rape me when I was 11. ) welp she ended up ditching my father for good. Thank god. But after she did that. She kept calling the cops on me threatening to send me off since I’m such a bad kid. Yes, I’ll admit. I didn’t listen much but still not a reason to literally send me off. One time my brother literally held on to me while she pulled my legs trying to take me. He wouldn’t let her send me away... She always treated me different always 😕 Example my brother back in October he literally beat my mom so bad that broke every bone in the left side of her face. She paid 7500 to get him out of jail and refused to press charges. He ended up only getting probation but yet when I was 12 my mom push me into her dresser and I pushed her back and ended p getting sent to a mental hospital. She has always treated me different. She tells me I’m a fuckup. She constantly degrades every little thing I do. Should I cut her off!?😭 I love her so much. I mean I was the one bathing her cleaning her wounds when my brother did that to her. Waking up every 3hrs and making sure she took her medicine. I was there for her. But she’s treats me like this!? I’m ttc right now and she constantly tells me “maybe you’re not meant to be a mom” I recently found out I had endo and pcos. Idk its such a hard thing to do 😩 help me😭 Need advice please.

My brother that held me from her isnt the brother that beat her

Also when I say I didn’t listen. Normal teenage shit. Hormones was crazy (started my period at 9) everybody says that I just acted like a normal teenage except my mom she thinks ima fuckup