To live a life with a broken family. Ever since I was a little girl and watched my sister be a single parent just to marry the guy who left her that way ive promised myself I would never choose someone I wasnt sure I'd spend my life with to father my children. Man life got away from me. I spent the last 5 years trying to fix a guy I saw potential in just to know come to realize that he will never be the guy I deserve. 8 months pregnant and all I can think about is how I'm going to do this. Hes broken me down. Hes crushed our love. I cant believe I've settled. I hate myself. Were engaged we own a home and all I want is out. I'm not happy. I lost myself. He doesnt love me everyday. Hes selfish and childish and I want nothing but to leave. Idk where to go but home. I dont want to co parent with him. This entire pregnancy I've felt nothing for this baby due to the way he treats me. He sleeps on the couch. We dont make love. He ignores me everytime I speak of my feelings. But when I tell him I'm leaving he suddenly changes. Hes never cheated. He comes from a broken home who never saw love. But I just cant wait anymore. I need more. I deserve more. I've grown to hate who he is. Everyday I wake up wishing this life wasnt mine. But I never wanted to raise a child in a broken home. We've broken up before. He wouldnt leave me alone. He said hed change and he didnt. I cant handle his constant will for me to be with him only after I'm gone. But I'm ready to find someone else. Someone who loves me and can make me laugh on our worst days. Someone who listens deeply and does the little things. I'm so done with the mommy like relationship I'm in and the constant me asking for what I deserve. I'm done. Someone help because I feel so stuck and I dont know where to go. This baby may make the first few months ok but I know it wont last. I need someone else. I'm too smart too special to be settling for this life.