So my sisters baby shower is this weekend and I was going to make a diaper cake for her and help my mom with decorations but I guess that was just wishful thinking because after grief counseling tonight I don’t want to do it. Does that make me a bad sister? My mom who also lost her first born son told me she understood and told me not to beat myself up over it, but I feel like I’m being weak. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I feel like I always have to be on because I’m trying to show everyone that I’m ok. In the end when I break down I just feel so inadequate and weak. I miss my baby boy so much.