I saw a new doctor this morning to talk about infertility. I explained how I have chronic illness due to an autoimmune disease but am under the care of a Rheumatologist and am no longer on medications that could harm a fetus and am managing my pain and symptoms with regular strength Tylenol when needed and exercise. I also mentioned how I have had depression and anxiety my entire life since I was abused as a child. I went off my antidepressants and have been taking alternative over-the-counter supplements to help with my moods such as Magnesium and Vitamin D. I often have pain and I do have flares on occasion but it has not stopped my from being able to work full-time and my souse is also very supportive. The doctor asked me why I wanted to have a baby if I have so much wrong with me. It made me cry. I understand that I’m not perfect and that I have a lot of baggage. I feel like I’m being judged too harshly. I may have physical and emotional pain but I am capable of caring for myself. I graduated from college, got married, and landed a very good job despite what I have been through. I have wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl and I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to assume that either mental of physical illness can hinder someone’s abilities to be a parent. I may sometimes walk with a limp but I can still walk up and down city blocks all day without assistance. I may be a little socially awkward but I’ve done volunteer work in my community. There are days where I would like to stay in bed but I still get up very early so I can make it to work on time and pay my bills responsibly. I am more than my illnesses and I wish this doctor could realize that. I left his office feeling like a failure. I wish I could be one of those normal people without any health issues so that when I say that I’m trying to conceive, their first thoughts aren’t “Should someone like you even have kids?”