I have a daughter that just turned 3 in March. And I swear that same week, it was like a switch just flipped in her head and she is a totally different child. Let me start out with the fact that her dad and I have joint custody and we're both married with separate kids. She has 3 brothers at her dads house, 2 older and 1 younger. And she has 1 little brother at our house. So when shes at her dads house she's the annoying little sister that gets bossed around and at our house she thinks she runs the show because shes the oldest. Her brother at our house is 1.5. She is so defiant and bossy and my husband and I are at our wits end. She goes from being SO damn sweet, "I love you so much. You're my best friend. I wish I could cuddle you forever. You're so pretty, etc" to a total asshole. She tells me all the time that she is the boss and she doesnt want to listen to me. She'll say things like "I dont have to if I dont want to. I dont have to listen to you. You're the bossy one, etc" her favorite words are "no" and "duh" she listens to my husband far more than she listens to me. She just DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT. If my husbands not home or napping, she is a complete savage. The minute he gets home her demeanor changes. Nothing works. Time outs, spankings, yelling, being nice and trying to reason with her, NOTHING. She is so damn stubborn and hard headed. She is literally too smart for her own good and she uses it against me. I dont know what to do with her anymore. I work full time and she goes to my aunts daycare, which she loves. But I've been getting texts from her lately during the day about how relentless my daughter is. On our way home from daycare a few days ago she told me she hit someone. I asked why (she doesnt hit at home and understand why she cant) and she told me "he was looking at me and I didnt want him to be looking at me" mind you this was an 8 year old boy that she hit. She is just so defiant and is under the impression that she doesnt have to listen to me and I dont know what to do anymore. She knows right from wrong, shes INCREDIBLY smart and can have a full on conversation with you and remembers literally everything. She'll tell me stories about stuff she remembers from last year. She understands everything you tell her and cause and effect. Is anyone dealing with anything similar and have any advice? TIA.