As a foreword: I am NOT asking your opinion on poly or non-monog relationships. I am asking those with these experiences to share things they wish they knew back then. You will be reported for putting down anyone else's lifestyle.

Hey ladies. For my own sanity I'm staying anon but my man and I just got back together after a split full of growth and maturing. We're taking baby steps to opening our relationship since we both would like permission to have sexual experiences elsewhere. Being pansexual I would like to not sleep with just a guy the rest of my life and he wants to be able to accept if a unique opportunity comes along for him sexually.

But we have some strengthening to do first. Establishing a strong and healthy nest relationship so we can be our occasionally non-monogamous selves.

But as a monogamous person my whole life I am taking things super slow. Working on gently molding my mindset to understand that most of my thoughts are fears established by the society I grew up in.

Engraving in my mind that he wants me and only me for life and he won't leave even if this does work out right now. Building my confidence that no one can even come close to our bond and partners that are just for sex play are no threat. All easier said than done.

What advice do you have in general? What boundaries worked best for you guys, which worked poorly? What rules do you have? Did you end up more turned on than you imagined sharing them sexually or in a threesome? How do I slowly approach comfort with threesomes? How to approach first time sex with a woman in a threesome? General advice?