Well, not easy to share.

I am 22 got pregnant from an ex who was never really next to me, tho in the pink cloud I believed always it could have been something.

When I finally let this relationship go, I was about to move to Germany. So i did, and after the first month living here, I got to know that I am pregnant. (Fun fact I had to work on children day, and let’s face it, i was not in the mood to deal with them)

Super fast I needed a doc. I made several calls, and all in German (I couldn’t speak that good...) finally an assistant helped me out giving me informations and an appointment for the next day. I am super glad that she helped. She was my angel at the situation.

The doc checked, and informed me about everything. When he saw that this is not a good news, he was not judging.

Next step I needed to talk to my ex. I decided I am willing to be fair and let him participate in the decision. The call was awkward. I do really hated it. But made me sure, that I am not willing to raise a children with him, and also not willing to have a children in such a family where i am sure will be arguments, and hate between the original parents.

And than I had to tell my parents,and siblings. Honestly it was the worst. Telling your ‘anti-abortion’ mom that she could have grandchildren in 8 month but she will not have, was terrible. Although they were very supportive. I know it hurts them, but they were still supportive. (I am so glad)

So paperwork. Social insurance paid me, luckily.

The operation was not quite good. Everyone talked German, which one side was very funny, as translating so quick to tell my allergies or previous issues (and if I don’t do it right i might not wake up) other side was scary that i didn’t understand the half of what will happen. Or as I see today I am glad, I didn’t want to know...

the op was quick. (I was still thinking to the very last moment that I could keep the baby, that I still have a chance to get off that bed...) I met the doc, assistant, lay on bed some checkup and sleep. The next thing is I am trying to ask in German whether everything was right.

Waiting till I can wake up, my mom was with me. She travelled to me, to help. So Taxi, Home. I was quite funny, still dizzy from the sedatives. But no pain.

I was good afterwards, like nothing happened. My mom had to go, and my ex visited, so I am not alone (I couldn’t bare to be alone, so I was rather with him...).

It was quiet.

I am here today. My due would have been around last week. I am some ways sad, someways happy. Life gets hard, and harder. I grew up. I am ready to have a relationship again, and I am willing to have a family as soon as possible. I am capable of it, and I won’t be scared.

(Since the OP, my Menstruation is regular, finally, tho having so hard cramps, I can’t move sometimes...)

So I guess everyone has their own fight. Take advance of that we are human being and can predict a tons of situation. We are having a huge capacity of learning and I believe it’s our obligation to do so. If not from out here mistakes than from ours.

Cheers to all the brave sisters 🙌