My husbands parents live in a different country. When they come over to visit they come for weeks at a time. When I gave birth they came over for five weeks. Soon they’ll come over for two months.

The problem is my father in law makes me incredibly uncomfortable. He always has and it causes fights between me and my husband when I bring up his bad behavior.

1. He’s constantly making inappropriate remarks about women. When I hear it I call him out on it and he shrugs it off.

2. He lies constantly to manipulate those around him. When he gets called out on it, it creates a huge fight. It always ends with everyone else dropping it because he’s such an ass.

3. He asked my parents to manipulate my husband to make him choose one job over the other. The jobs were comparable but in different cities. My parents refused and said we were adults and could make our own choices. My husband doesn’t know this.

4. My FIL told a family member of mine that he committed a serious crime in his home country years ago but lied his way out of it. He convinced everyone including my husband that he was set up. I haven’t confronted my husband about this yet.

5. He’s laughed about how he flicked his sons penises when he changed their diapers. He’s not allowed alone with my kids.

6. When they come to visit they pay for nothing. We pay for all activities and food. They made a Christmas meal after I gave birth but left my husband and I to clean up the mess. I was in the kitchen cooking for them a week and a half after my emergency c-section.

7. They refuse to rent a car when they’re here because they say it costs too much money, so we have to shuttle them around. They asked my husband to buy them a car so they can go on road trips. I shut that down quick.

The significant others of my husband’s siblings DO NOT get along with my FIL. They’ve tried to confront him about his behavior before but that didn’t go well at all. They avoid him when he comes to visit. But I do not want him around my kids without me there so I have to be around him.

What do I do? Every time I try to bring this up with my husband it causes a huge fight but I cannot take months long visits every six months from this man.