Grandparents being too involved...a bit long...

My child is 2 and since her birth the relationship between my parents and myself has been strained. My parents have stepped in a lot and didn’t allow my husband or myself to really become a family of 3 in the beginning. They came over every day all day to “help” but instead just took care of our baby while we cleaned up/did laundry. I had trouble breastfeeding so I decided to pump but each time I had to pump I had to remove myself from the room because they were there. So instead of being with my child I was isolated. So I gave up trying to pump. My mother was also only concerned about her relationship with my baby...so instead of trying to help guide me as new a mother she told me she wanted to make sure the baby knew her and wanted an open invitation to come over anytime she wants to see the baby. As our child has gotten older they’ve insisted on being involved in almost every little thing we try to do as our little family. I want my child to have a wonderful relationship with her grandparents but I want my parents to act as grandparents...not try and be a second set of parents to her. My mom can be selfish in that she wants to be the favorite. It’s obvious and anytime my child shows preference to her she takes such joy in it and it hurts me. Also, they constantly were “1 upping” us when it came to toys. We would get her a stroller for her babydoll...then they would get her a stroller, bassinet, and high chair for her dolls to keep at their house. Etc. When it came to her first birthday we had a party with everyone for her a couple of days later and on her birthday my husband and I had plans as a family to go to the zoo. My parents demanded to see her on her actual birthday (the party 2 days later wasn’t enough) and thwarted our plans. They overstep a lot. Their house looks like a child lives there. Since she was born they have had a high chair, tons of toys, clothes, cups, utensils, diapers, rock and play, pack and play, bouncer etc (even as far as getting their own diaper bag)...in the beginning having bottles and all that at my parents house was helpful but then my parents started to act as if they were her parents. Not letting us really become our own family. It makes me pull away naturally because I feel like they don’t respect us as a family. Now, they want to get a car seat for themselves and my husband and I don’t know how we feel about it. Has anyone had issues with parents or in-laws being this way? Any advice?

Edit: I have a hard time being straight forward about things like this with my parents because up until having a baby I have been pretty close to them and they do a lot for my husband and myself (like helping us buy and renovate our first home). So I don’t want to seem unappreciative or selfish. I know those are too different subjects but I don’t want to do any further damage. I don’t want to offend. Trying to figure out a way to be straight forward and set boundaries, all while keeping as much peach as possible.