I'm having a planned Csection in three weeks because it's been determined my pelvis is too narrow for a VBAC.

At first I was shattered I was not gonna have my dream natural medication free vbac. After a while I've come to terms with it.

I just want a healthy baby out.

Now that it's just 3 weeks away it's beginning to come back to me how absolutely horrified I was at the loss of control with the whirlwind unplanned csection of my son 7 years ago.

The feeling of being treated like a piece of meat and just undergoing a procedure with no input or decisions whatsoever. Not seeing my baby come out. No direct skin to skin. Not seeing my baby while they're cleaning him off. Delayed breastfeeding.

And afterwards the intense shakes I had from the anesthetic which made me unable to hold him.

It was very traumatic. I had post partum depression with my son.

I don't deal well with loss of control or not knowing what's going on.

Can anyone relate? I just feel like it would benefit me to talk about it with people who have the same issues.