Off and On

I lost my pregnancy two weeks ago, but I didn’t get it confirmed until last week. I started out taking a very clinical look at things and telling myself that it was probably chromosomal abnormalities and that this is my body trying to protect me from a nonviable pregnancy. But holy shit, I’m just so fucking sad. I wanted this baby so much, and I’ve been telling everyone I’m fine and that there’s nothing I could have done (because I know I didn’t so something that could harm the baby), but I’m falling apart inside. I see so many people getting pregnant and having healthy pregnancies and I wanted that to be me. I know we can try again, but I wanted this baby so badly. I’m holding it together because I have to. But it hurts so goddamn much.