Is this childish? Advice?

Question

I am 20 weeks pregnant. A little back story, I have always wanted 3-5 kids, I love big families. No less than 3. 
With my husband, I thrive on touch and quality time. They are my love languages. It keeps me grounded and makes me feel loved and secure.
 In this pregnancy I have been coming home and just melting. I ask my husband to come hold me. (Cuddle in bed) and I get the ground under my feet again and I am ok. (This is not an every day thing I ask for, or expect) Whether it be anxiety, over stimulation from work or simply hormones. He is happy to oblige, he is literally amazing.
 Last night I started getting anxious because once the baby gets here we might not have time for eachother. I am so afraid of us not having time for eachother. Limited hugs and kisses and goodbye to cuddles. And what about our sex life? 
I told him that maybe we should only have 2 kids. Because without his affection and time with him I don't think I will make it. And trying to juggle everything with 3+ kids just doesn't seem possible. Especially the way the world works now. 
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has felt this way. Does anyone have advice? Some reassurance that I'm not being childish?

Answer

Seems like a valid worry to have. I don't have advice because I dont have more than one child but it's tough for us with just one.

Answer

I think you’re thinking about things that are waaaaay down the line. You really don’t know how having a child will affect you guys as a couple yet because it hasn’t happened yet. I think you should try t to worry about this because as time passes, you’ll just naturally come to a decision about having a bigger or a smaller family. It isn’t something you need to think about right now.  
But to answer your question, no it’s. It childish to think that way. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If your needs aren’t met, it’ll be harder to care for children. So yes, your logic does make sense. But it may or may not be as difficult as you think. You won’t know until you get there.

Answer

I will tell you kids make a difference. My daughter has been co sleeping since day one. She’s now two it has had a huge impact on our marriage but we learned pretty quick it just requires us to make an extra effort. I get up early with him to spend time with him alone. We always planned on only have two kids well I’m currently pregnant with triplets so that’s not gonna happen. But we have adjusted and couldn’t be happier. This is not to say you should have a bunch of kids it’s just that with anything kids especially you just learn to adjust around it and make time.

Answer

There's nothing wrong with feeling this way. Yes, it does absolutely change how much time you have for each other, especially in babys first few weeks of life. But you adjust. You get a schedule/routine going and life gets easier. Have this baby and think about it for awhile. There's literally zero need to decide right this instant, especially since this is your first kid.

Answer

It does get tougher to find the time when one child is literally BEGGING for food even though they just ate, and the other is demanding TV time like it’s a right and not a privilege (do i sound experienced?) 
Just.. make time. Pick out a time of day that is just for you and your man. After the kids go to sleep, before they wake up, something. Make it a ritual, a habit. You shouldn’t “have to” work on your marriage, people say, but let’s face it. Children block up the schedule. If you can get yourselves into the habit of physical contact/ snuggling/ intimacy whatever you choose, it’ll stick. You’ll be happier, hopefully, and maybe even less stressed. 
My husband and i make time as often as we can. Send the kids to bed early and just hug it out wordlessly on the couch. Watch a movie with nothing but our legs/ feet touching. Sometimes we talk crap about the tiny jerks we’re raising. Whatever suits us so we don’t feel like losing our shit.

Answer

Never wanted another and now shes almost here...he said what if i want one more? I asked him the other day if he still wanted another and he said no... Lol I get it for sure.

Answer

You just have to make time for each other, get in a routine and stick with it. My SO works out of state 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. Together we have 3 children, I have one and he has 2, we are trying for another. Every night we shower together, that’s our thing, our time together. I need a lot of attention and i don’t and haven’t felt like my needs aren’t met while care for all the children. You just have to find what works for you. It’s definitely a lot but it can definitely be done.

Answer

I don’t think you are childish, but mature for realizing maybe more than 3 is too much if you ever want time with your husband lol. Shoot I have 2 and we barely have time together, it’s like I gotta work it in my schedule jk. You can always decide to have more as time goes on.

Answer

I am 1000% exactly like you? and it is exactly why we only have one child. don’t get me wrong our son always comes before anything, but our relationship always has too priority. that’s totally understandable and not selfish of you!

Is this childish? Advice?

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