So almost 2 whole months ago I went toe-to-toe with my mother in law for the first time. My husband and I have been together for almost 4 years married for a little over a year. We are pregnant with our second baby and we sent the whole family our rules. My mil decided this was a personal attack on her and I just hate her and don’t want her around. So while trying to explain that it was sent to everyone, she still didn’t listen, and I blew up. We got into a screaming match and I basically told her to stay away from me and my kids.

(Side note I’m very passionate about my rules being followed because we lost our first son to SIDS)

Anyway my husband has told me not to say anything to his mother the whole duration of our relationship so he doesn’t have to deal with her shit. I didn’t like that but to make it easier on my husband I bit my tongue. When this all happened I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. So this turned into arguing about my children to pretty much everything I’ve wanted to say for the past 4 years.

Well yesterday she finally texts me “apologizing” for overreacting and says we need to meet up to talk it out. I told her I agree we need to have a sit down. My issue is I have not heard this woman apologize for anything since I’ve met her, she honestly believes she does no wrong. Her apology to me was basically “Well I didn’t realize this was how your parenting style is. I didn’t know this was a popular thing”. Also she is very consumed with making sure all 3 of her sons do whatever she needs them to. I am married to her youngest, so it’s a lot worse him being her baby. (And she makes sure to always point out that he is her baby)

How do I set boundaries for my marriage and my children with her? My husband hardly ever goes against her and I’m so tired of arguing with him to be on my side. I need her to realize she cannot keep pushing herself into my marriage and get away with it. And I need my husband to realize that she can’t be a third person in our relationship. So how do I tell them without starting a huge fight?