I have made the decision to leave my fiancé.  Things have been going downhill for so long and it’s just become unbearable.

We have a 4 month old daughter together and this makes me very sad for her.  He’s just not a nice person.  We used to be so in love with each other but then his controlling and jealous behaviors took over.  A little back story,  we have been together for almost 3 years.  He has a son from a previous relationship whom I am very close with.  Things between us went very well and we moved super-fast!  We got engaged after 4 months, moved in together right away, opened bank accounts- everything you can think of.  I thought he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  I used to be an EXTREMELY confident person.  Someone who had tons of friends, went to the gym, and was very outgoing, but over the past 3 years all of that has changed.  He didn’t like me going to the gym because he knew guys I went to high school with worked out there and thought I was cheating on him.  He hates my friends and shames me if I try to go to dinner with them or do anything outside of our home without him.  He doesn’t like when I dress nice because he thinks I am looking for someone else. Well, we moved about 2 years away from our family and friends because HE bought a house.  Yep, you heard that right- the house is in his name.  My credit was over 700 when we met and his was around 400.  We ended up maxing out all of my credit cards with everyday life because he wanted to save our money to increase his credit then said we would pay my cards off as soon as possible.  I was so stupid and it makes me so mad to think about.

Since my credit tanked, his went up and he was the only one who got approved for our home.  When we moved, things were going okay and I got pregnant.  Throughout my pregnancy I worked 40+ hours a week and continued to maintain the home.  I even put together all of the baby’s furniture ALONE… He switched jobs to work from home and took a significant pay cut (over 20k a year) and said he would be hands on with our daughter when she was born so that we didn’t have to pay for daycare, but I couldn’t be a stay at home mom like I always dreamed about.

When I was in labor with our daughter, he stepped outside for 30 minutes to call his son’s mom which hurt my feelings so bad.  I wanted him to be present with ME and for me but he couldn’t do that.  He calls me her name when we fight and I just can’t take it anymore.  He doesn’t wake up with the baby EVER and I  go to work at 7am every day, he barely helps around the house, and he gets mad at me if I don’t want to have sex all the time.  What set me OVER THE EDGE was on mother’s day I got my sister a miscarriage necklace because she has had a really hard time getting pregnant and he kept saying “she’s not even a mom so I don’t understand why you would get her something. You guys make such a big deal out of things.” And I just was floored at how nasty he was being.  Well, my sister is pregnant now and everything seems to be going well.  There was a little scare at first and I told my fiancé then he told me “I think your sister just does this for attention”.  I was pissed.

So here I am- a new first time mom with shitty credit, no home of our own, and no real plan (going to stay with my sister until I can save $ for my daughter and I to get a home). I am scared to death and having such a hard time letting go, but I don’t want to live like this anymore.  I have lost who I am and I want her back… Does anyone have any advice? Please.