Feeling guilty, also kind of a rant?

Question

I’m almost 4 months along and I haven’t really told anyone we’re expecting. Not for any kind of reason but mostly I’m just not much of a share-Er?
 I was thinking about “announcing” it today, but then my sister-in-law just told the family she had a miscarriage. We get along great, and she is one of my best girl/fellow mom friends and I am devastated for her!! This is her third one in a row. I haven’t even had /one/ and this is my third child! 
I didn’t even know what to say :(  and obviously I didn’t follow that up with out announcement. 
Then I was talking to an old friend that I haven’t talked to in a while, and she invited me to a trampoline place for her daughter’s fifth birthday party and I was thinking “can I do that when I’m pregnant?” And then I remembered she has been having trouble conceiving for years, and I didn’t feel like it was okay to bring up anymore.
I know I’m overreacting- no one is saying I am not allowed to be pregnant and happy but I just don’t want to cause my friends or family any undue pain! 
I have no idea what to do!
Does anyone have any advice??

Answer

I think they would appreciate hearing the news from you, not from someone else. Tell them privately and not in a group. Give them time and space to process.

Answer

That’s tough. I’ve been on the other end of that being the one who has miscarried when my friends and family all had no trouble. It was always tough to hear about someone else’s pregnancy but I also didn’t want them to hide it from me. That almost felt worse. There’s never a perfect time to announce when you are trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s going to happen. I would say just post when you feel like it’s the right time. Congratulations!

Answer

I can understand why you didnt share with those specific women at that time. It was considerate of you. If it were me, i wouldnt worry about announcing to people im not close to. If it comes up, it comes up. Ill let the baby bump do the talking lol thank goodness i have no social media. but for those i am close with, i would share when im comfortable. Im 15w & havent announced to family or friends cuz i had a MC last yr at 9w & had told family a few weeks prior. I plan on telling family after my 16w appt. ill announce to my job & friends a few weeks after telling family.

Answer

Your pregnancy has nothing to do with their own fertility issues. I don’t mean to sound rude, but you’re entitled to announce your pregnancy & your friend deserves to know that you’re pregnant (& why you can’t go on trampolines). Plus, they’re going to find out anyways. You can’t hide it. 
You don’t have to rub it in their faces, but don’t let someone’s infertility discourage you from celebrating your own pregnancy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I speak from years of struggling with infertility. I am currently pregnant with my rainbow baby after mc in late January this year. I found the struggle to conceive soul crushingly frustrating. My thoughts turned very dark after I miscarried. Your consideration is appreciated more than you can ever know by your friends. Clearly you are and should be happy about your pregnancy. Your friends are happy for you too, but it’s through the filter of the pain that comes with processing grief. I found it difficult to process any outside emotions because I was already constantly processing my own internal grief. Obviously, announce when you are ready. Then let your friends come to you and celebrate with you when they are ready.

Feeling guilty, also kind of a rant?

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