Not worth the time.

My ex and I have a baby boy together (he left the week after we found out we were pregnant )

Our son has heart defects. Had surgery when he was 2 months old to repair some of his heart.

I have been told by dozens of doctors that time with him is precious. He wasn't even supposed to make it this far (PRAISE THE LORD).

My ex rarely sees him. He is 5 months old now and my ex has seen him maybe half a dozen times (didn't even come to the hospital for the birth - and YES I told him when I was being induced but he just didn't come)

Anyways. Fast forward to today. My ex was supposed to come over after work and spend time with him. He's the one who asked so I was like sure because i know time with him is precious and I'm not some crazy baby mama who withholds her child. If he wants to see him he can. If he doesn't want to, I'm not forcing him.

So he ended up bailing because he finished work at 6pm and didn't want to drive 30 minutes to my place to only spend an hour with our son before he went to bed. I was like well an hour is better than nothing. And he responded with "actually no, driving a half hour for an hour visit with him is not worth my time".

Mind. Blown.

An hour? Really? An hour with your child who's days are uncertain isnt worth it? Heck I'm trying to soak up each millisecond. I stare at him while he sleeps. I would take two minutes with my sweet boy. An hour?! Hallelujah!

But my ex doesn't think he's worth it. How do I handle this? Honestly I'm so upset I'm shaking (don't worry baby boy is in bed and safe. Not holding him and shaking angrily I promise!) I'm pissed off! Thoughts?!