I'm detached
.. to make a long story short, my husband stopped showing signs of excitement towards us expecting and started stressing more about finances.. he made a comment when we had an argument that he was fine with just the 2 kids we already had and that he feels he took a step back by making another one with me, because financially we are in a tough spot and that he sacrificed his happiness for me, because he seen how badly I wanted one more child. Our kids are already big, one will be in Jr high next fall and the youngest is in 2nd grade.. I already signed the waiver to get my tubes tied after this, because I can see how it's the best decision for us. He was upset he had to get a 2nd job, but before he showed signs of stress, we were on the same page, we agreed I'd stay home, while he worked.(i was put on bed rest/light duty high risk pregnancy) He was excited and would say "I dont know how we are gonna do it, but we will figure it out!" (when we found out I was high risk, but I plan to get back to work as soon as I can with alternating schedules so we can equally help our finances)..I am now 32 weeks and hes only touched my belly maybe a handful of times and doesn't bond or talk with the baby at all.. so it's made me feel detached and like I cant bond with the baby as well.. I feel wrong for wanting another child.. but he was excited and we tried for 9months ..maybe he was convinced it wouldn't happen? Idk..I dont feel anything towards the baby anymore and I'm ready to be done being pregnant. I'm depressed, sad, but my husband also hates that so I cant even talk to him about how I feel. I'm scared I'll most likely have postpartum depression like I did with the other 2 kids and I just want to feel happy. .its almost like I cant feel happy because I see that he isnt responding like i hoped with the baby.. any advice? I cant talk to him about it at all because it doesnt end well. I've tried and it's only pushing him away from me. I feel like I'm on autopilot doing what's necessary to get through the day. I still clean house and take care of the other kids, make meals everyday and I try to just do my part so he can see im not just doing nothing or leaving it all for him to do.. im feeling defeated by depression. I'm even tempted to drive myself to the hospital when it's time and not tell him until it's too late
Just so I can deliver by myself and not feel embarrassed to show my emotions as I push baby out. I just wanted to enjoy my last pregnancy..and he ruined it for me.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.