They say it’s just a miscarriage, but it’s so much more than just a miscarriage. I found out I was pregnant Tuesday. My levels were very low. 13 to be exact. I had another appointment to make sure they were rising today. I wake up and I’m bleeding. Clotting. Cramping. I knew something was wrong. I went to my appointment she checked me out and she said this doesn’t look like a good pregnancy. To make sure she checked my levels again. It was 2, that meant I had lost it. Even tho I was only 3 or 4 weeks and it was still a cell I cried and screamed why me?! I was finally pregnant, for the first time. And it got taken from me. I’m being told oh it happened for a reason. Why? Why did it happen? No one deserves to go through this.

As the day went on i accepted the news. I can sit and feel sorry for my self all I want but it isn’t going to change it. All I can do try again. This miscarriage wasn’t my or anyone else’s fault, it just didn’t stick. It happened. Am I still sad? Yes I think I’ll always be upset but I will always remember “paulie” as my daughter named it.

Rip Baby Paulie